When do we learn to hate another person because of their race, class, gender, or sexual orientation? Does it start from within the womb? Or as early as infancy? Research indicates that from a very young age children form their personalities, beliefs, and ideologies. Typically a child’s first teachers are their parents. As a mother of two small boys, it’s my husband, Roland and my responsibility to help shape our sons lives. Children aren’t born to discriminate, it’s what they see and learn in their environments that makes them learn to hate.
When I was growing up, there weren’t many African Americans in my high school, located in Boulder, Colorado. My Latina best friend as a child (and still to this day), Teresa, and I shared a locker which was vandalized with racial slurs during our freshman year.
“Spic.”
My eyes teared up as I looked at the hateful words.
“Nigger.”
I stood there in disbelief, but it wasn’t the first time that either her or I had been called those hurtful names. Who taught the vandals to hate? Was it their parents? Or, was it society that taught them to degrade and think less of those around them? In the documentary, “I AM,” from the director of “Ace Ventura” and “Liar Liar,” Tom Shadyac attempts to answer two questions – “What’s wrong with our world?” “What can we do about it?”
This week, I was devastated when I watched, on local television, a young gay teenager, 20-year-old Brandon White being stomped and beaten by a group of young men. As the young man was struck in the head and beaten, the perpetrators shouted derogatory names referring to his sexual orientation. The video (released by Smoking Gun) shows that the attack occurred outside a convenience store on the corner of Delevan and McDaniel streets in Atlanta.
I watched in horror as the victim laid motionless. I immediately thought about his parents, “what if that were my child?” Bystanders stood by watching the young man bleed with no reaction or inclination to assist him. No one called 911 to report the attack. No one did anything because no one wanted to be labeled a “snitch.”
And to think that he was beaten because of his sexual orientation is beyond disheartening and disgusting. As a community that allows this type of hatred to ensue, we should be ashamed of ourselves. Growing up, I knew two openly gay teenagers in my high school. As an ally, I felt particularly special and responsible when they told me that they both felt comfortable “coming out” to me. Studies show that one-third of all gay youth have attempted suicide at some point in their lives; thus, being able to talk with and be accepted by other peers and the community is critical to these youths survival.
What would you do if you saw someone getting beaten? Or if you heard a derogatory word that was offensive? Would you stand there? Would you question why they are being assaulted or do the right thing and help someone in need?
If I were there when the young man was getting beaten, I would have yelled. I would have screamed. I would have called 911. I would have pleaded for the young men to stop. While everyone else around me would have just stood there and watched, or simply walked away.
What’s happening to our society? When did we stop caring for each other as human beings? We are all someone’s son/daughter, sister/brother, relative, or friend. It is time to wake up and start intervening; it is our responsibility to take action when hate and violence occurs.
Anyone with information on the attack, please call Crime Stoppers at 404-577-8477.
Sojourner Marable Grimmett is an Atlanta-based author who is recognized for writing about the joys and challenges of being a “stay-at-work” mom and connects with moms, both new and experienced, who have the responsibility of raising a family and maintaining a full-time job. Sojourner has been featured in FitPregnancy, iVillage, MacaroniKid.com, BlackCelebKids.com, MyAtlantaMoms.com, WhatToExpect.com, BlackandMarriedwithKids.com, Fox News, and CNN. She is married to her college sweetheart, Roland and they have two young sons, Roland Jay and Joshua.
Visit her blog sojournermarablegrimmett.blogspot.com follow her on twitter and like her on Facebook. Also join her new campaign to support establishing lactation rooms in public places www.supporttablefortwo.org.
10. February 2012 at 10:06 am
What would you do if you saw someone getting beaten? Or if you heard a derogatory word that was offensive?
13. February 2012 at 8:33 am
This is a tough question ? I don’t think anyone can honestly answer it ? Perhaps the one that could answer would be the person who was there at that exact moment, you see I believe that a person does not know what they would do or not do unless they walked in someone else shoes. It is easy for us to judge and say, ” Man if I had been there I would have helped ” but in reality you don’t know what you would do at that precise moment It is sad that these things has to go on, and I believe that being gay is an abomination to God, but that doesn’t give anyone the right to beat another person. I don’t necessarily believe in the hate crime bill as sometimes it gets twisted, but if we are going to have it, then it should be applied to all who commit such crimes, not just a few.
12. February 2012 at 8:08 am
Gary Avery Nichols
So what if the thugs are DL gay also? I think the Atlanta gay community is about to get a serious blow! The gay community in Atlanta wants to be fired of over the beating of this young man, and rightfully so. But, we must stand on the side of total truthfulness and justice. We do need hate crime legislation in Georgia, but not like this. There is no homophonbic gang in the Pittsburgh community of Atlanta. This want to be gang is facing what every American person, business or enity is currenty facing; an economic downturn. Street drugs are not selling very high in Atlanta but DL gay sex with a thug does. They were a gang who exploited both of these revenue streams to include violent crime. Go into the community and actually to talk to the locals, and they will tell you this. They will also tell you that these are the young men who have robbed there homes, and murdered their children. They also want Mr. Brandon White to tell the truth. There two things the locals, who have lived their all their lives want answered are theses: Who is the young man in the orange shirt? And, why does Brandon keep saying that he does not know, who these guys are, but he lives directly in back of the store where he was beaten? To the activists in the city, who I feel are caught up in the moment; are not stopping to critically think about the impact they are making on the people of this community. They don’t need homophobic training. I challenge the gay community to this: to gain the trust of the Pittsburgh community; I have a family who truly believes this group of young men murdered their brother. I ask that you put pressure on the Mayor’s Office to reopen murder cases in this community; Right Now! In connection with this gang. I think this would be a great starting point. To the issue of Mr. White. We need to get some help for this young man. He is more than a beating victim but he is a beating victim to this media coverage and people who surround him. He has deeply endangered this case with speaking to the media before the conclusion of an investigation. To all of us who are remaining quiet or for those who are jumping on the bandwagon for personal gain. We are causing more damage to Mr. White than the men who beat him. This not a Facebook declaration of war, but I ask anyone who wants me to explain; the very nature of my comments to just write, call, or if you are in the Atlanta metro area, we can meet up.
Please hear my cry as an Iraq War Veteran, who went to war on faulty intelligence; who only now understands the disastrous nature of my own actions. The gay community is declaring war without hearing all the facts; and this is absolutely reckless. To all people who are upset over this issue. BEFORE YOU GO TO WAR, YOU BETTER MAKE SURE YOU CAN WIN?
G
13. February 2012 at 8:20 am
I would like for the news team to explain why there has not been a hate crime charge brought against this man that has been arrested ? Not so long ago there was an incident where it was white boys beating a black boy and they were charge with a hate crime. This is not a racist remark but a justice remark, if we are going to have any such thing as a hate crime then it should be a crime for all, justice for all no matter what race, color or nationality. We the people need to know, thank you
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